Do You Believe in Miracles?

Growing up one of my favourite stories was that of Peter Pan and even now it is still ranked right up there as one of the best! It taught me to believe that miracles could come true and that if I truly believed and worked hard it would help those miracles along. Now however I am not so sure.

It has been a very uneasy and frustrating 2 months since our teleconference with Rowing Australia. It has seemed like a lifetime waiting to find out what will be happening with our boat and whether or not we will get a chance to prove ourselves so that we will be able to compete at the World Championships in New Zealand in November. We had been told that we would be advised within a week of the teleconference but in actual fact it took them 5 weeks and 5 days to let us know!

Two weeks ago we finally got a message that the Board had approved the plan that was to be put in place and the seats in our boat had now been opened up to any LTA rower who was interested. I know that the crew who had been originally selected had all put their hands up for selection, but I was unsure about who else had decided to try and bump some of us out! To be honest it has been very frustrating dealing with the powers that be! The first email we got had everyone cc'd into it about what the selection process would be, but the second email that was sent to us was a bit more cryptic! All rowers who had nominated were blind copied in. To me it was like they were playing a game not letting us know who had nominated. I just wanted to say "come on people don't treat us like children!" We were also sent a training program that everyone was to follow with a number of ergo tests included.

It has been pretty obvious to all of us in the crew that there have been some underlying ideas by the national coaching staff and that was to have the least disabled crew possible. This I can understand as you want to have the fastest boat possible. But to us, it led us to believe that meant trying to get rid of one crew member in particular and replace him with someone else who has two legs. The problem I see is that even with one leg he is faster on the water than any of the possibilities. Unfortunately this has now come back to bite them on the butt! They have not been able to push that rower out, but we have lost young Nick from the crew!

The training program is based on Senior A selection. Nick has just turned 17, is currently doing his VCE (for those not in Australia - his last 2 years of high school, which are pretty tough down here) which is full on for him and has not been able to do the entire program that they want us all to follow. There is no bending by RA in regards to this training. The program is a generic training program and to me this is a very archaic way of thinking. I don't think they realise that as disabled athletes with a range of disabilites, it may not be possible for all of us to do the same program. I know that it has taken me 3 years to work out what works best for my body and dealing with my MS. The last thing I want is to end up in hospital because I am doing something different from what works for me! I guess only time will tell.

The problem now is that the other rowers that they hoped would nominate have fallen through. That leaves us in a bad position as four rowers are now down to three! You can't row a 4+ with 3 people! So unfortunately at this point we will not be going to the World Championships.

This has been very hard to get my head around and I am sure that the others are feeling the same way. We have all worked damn hard this year, with our focus on competing at Worlds and it looks like all that hard training is now down the tubes!

We have still been invited to a training camp next week in Canberra. Rowing in singles and a double, speaking to the nutritionist and working on recovery. This is supposed to keep us motivated and in the loop. But what do we have to motivate us if not for the World Champs. The next international competition is a year away, a very long time to stay motivated!

We have also been told that RA have been trying to find and entice new LTA rowers. Well I have been doing that for the last year...it isn't easy. So I now get back to the title "Do You Believe in Miracles?", because at this point the only thing that will get us competing internationally this year will be ONE BIG MIRACLE!

Lifeline

Well it has taken just about 6 weeks since our teleconference with the powers that be within Rowing Australia, but we have finally received word about what is planned for our boat.

As I stated in the last entry, we didn't get to attend the Selection Trials in April but a plan was to be worked out in order to attempt to field our boat at the Rowing World Championships in November. That plan has now been approved by the Rowing Australia Board and we have a full on few months ahead of us!

I personally haven't been happy that it has taken so long to get back to us...but hey that's elite sport I guess. I have been training just as hard but doing things a bit differently to keep everything fresh. Because to be honest rowing in my single scull has become a bit boring. Thank god for the masters women at Melbourne Rowing club. I have been able to get into a few crew boats with them as they get ready to compete at the National Masters Rowing Championships.

It is sad that we aren't over in Europe right now as the 1st World Cup is being held this weekend in Bled, Slovenia. There are only 7 boats entered in our event but it would have given us some good racing. Australia does have two other boats there, in our Men's Arms and Shoulders rower Ben and the Trunk and Arms double scull, Kat and Grant. I certainly wish them all the luck in the world and I am sure both boats will do extremely well!

As for our crew, well even who will be in the boat is up in the air. They have opened selection up to all the rowers who were at nationals and a couple who weren't. So it will be interesting to see who eventually is sitting in the boat.

A quote that comes to my mind is something that Winston Churchill once said "Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts". I really hope that all the crew members have the courage to continue. I believe we have a great combination that can attain our dreams, they all just have to want it as much as I do!

Life Isn't Meant to be Easy

I have always been told that life wasn't meant to be easy! This past week has certainly proved that.

We have come up against our first stumbling block on our quest for inclusion in the Australian team for the World Rowing Championships. But throughout my life I have come up against a number of obstacles in my path and at the time they seem to be impenetrable, but there are always a way of getting past those obstacles if you really want to. Maybe that is the optimist in me but I never say never.

We, the crew, all received an email on Tuesday asking us if we would be available for a teleconference on Thursday. The only thing it said was that "there were to be some changes to the selection regatta that needed to be discussed directly with us". No hint as to what they were, but to me this didn't sound good...I should always trust my instincts.

Thursday 6pm came very slowly I must say. I don't think 48 hours have ever passed so slowly. It was also ergo testing week, which takes a lot out of me so I think by the time the teleconference started my mind and body where just about at their all time fatigue levels. Then within a few sentences I felt like I had been hit with a 2 ton slab of concrete. Our invitation to selection trials was being "retracted". I didn't think I had heard this right, but unfortuntately I had.

My other crew members were obviously just as shell shocked as I was and couldn't really say anything, so of course I did! There were four points that were put to us, of which I questioned all of them and their accuracy. I'll be honest, I was pissed off! I had just spent the last 6 months working my butt off to get to these selection trials and for this to be happening felt like a kick in the gut.

But the decision was made, we were not going and this wasn't going to change. So obviously our first stepping stone, the World Cup in May was out as well. To the selectors credit they did have a plan in place with a specialised training program, a couple of camps and depending on how those went, an invite to selection trials in August.

After the teleconference I did speak with each crew member separately to get their take on everything that had been said and yes they were all pretty upset. But I told them we all had to do well on the final ergo test the following morning and that we all had to try and attain personal bests. Everyone agreed with that. I left it at that so they could have time to understand where they were and where they each individually wanted to be come August.

I think that was the hardest part, getting myself ready for the last ergo test the following morning! Not very good timing to give bad news like this. But hey I figured that bad things can happen before a race and you still have to race so this was no different. Just wish I could have gotten my brain to understand that as I only got about an hours sleep that night due to the fact that my brain wouldn't stop! I kept going over the points they had put forward to us and coming up with other things I would have liked to have say to them. So when I got to the VIS the next morning I was a tad bit tired, but very determined to do the best I could. And I did! A personal best and finally breaking through the 3:40 barrier for 1000m! Mind you it was only by 0.1, but it was still under it! I kept thinking, what would I have done if I had been properly rested? Oh well I will find out during the next ergo testing week!

I am lucky in that I have some amazing people at the VIS who support me and after speaking to them after the test, it put some things in perspective for me. We as a crew have to be proactive and not reactive to what was said to us. We all know that we have it in us to be part of the Australian team and I am sure that we will prove this over the coming months. We have to use this obstacle as a stepping stone toward our goals.

One of life's certainties is that nothing stays the same. We all have to create a mindset that looks for opportunites rather than obstacles. So I like to think that we are being given an opportunity with the plan they have come up with to be even better than we have in the past.

After all, I think we all want the same thing:

To make the boat go fast!

First Camp Completed

Well our first camp held in Canberra on Lake Burley Griffith has been completed. It was a tough but great week for all of us to come together and get some really decent training sessions in. The weather most of the week was beautiful and we couldn't have asked for better water. The picture shows what the sunrise was like on a number of mornings.

We started the week off with just 3 of the rowing members of the crew and Shannon our cox as Pete couldn't make it until the Tuesday. So it was out in the singles for myself, Alex and Nick.

Pedro the Head Coach of Adaptive rowing in Australia came out in the boat with Stu each afternoon and while we were in the singles this was no different. However it does take some getting used to Pedro's accent (Swiss) and at one point Pedro was saying something to Nick through the Megaphone which Nick couldn't understand. Eventually Alex had to tell him he was saying to move closer to her single, in order to get around a corner. When we finished our session Nick told us that he thought Pedro was saying "Kill the walrus!" and he couldn't understand what he was supposed to do! So at this point in time our catch phrase for the crew is now "Kill the walrus".

As Tuesday dawned it was a bit foggy but once we were on the water the fog came in thick and fast! Now as someone with MS my balance isn't great at the best of times. But by god once the fog rolled in and I had nothing to focus on the vertigo kicked in. Let me tell you that rowing 10 km's with vertigo is not a good thing to do!! It was all I could do to actually stay in the boat!! The others couldn't understand why I was so far behind and rowing in a zigzag! I think they could tell when I finally made it back to the landing and could hardly stand up because I was so dizzy! Not an experience I want to have again any time soon.

When Pete arrived the guys decided that they were going to have a competition to see who could gain the most weight! Staying at the Australian Institute of Sport (AIS) this is not a hard thing to do! I usually have to be very careful because the food that is served is never ending. You can have as much or as little as you want and there is usually some sort of dessert every night. So we had the guys weigh in and this included Stu our coach. Nick weighed in at 73.4 kg, Stu at 81kg and Pete at 69kg (minus his leg). The competition was on and as you can see from the photo Nick was enjoying ever last morsel of food he put in his mouth!

As Nick was a new member in the crew from last year we weren't sure what formation we would be sitting in. So he was put in stroke seat to see how he would handle it. We had about two and a half days this way, then it was decided to try and mix things up a bit. So Alex was moved from Bow to Stroke, with Nick in 3 seat, Pete in 2 seat and me in bow. The combination worked well as Alex probably has the best and quickest catch of all of us. Now we just had to try and keep up with her! Last year with Alex in bow her nickname was "Bow Bitch" so it looks like I may take over that mantel! I just hope I can live up to it!!

In amongst the rowing we did a couple of weight sessions as well as a couple of swim session with two recovery sessions in the ice baths. This is probably the thing I love the best because it is amazing how much it helps my legs with recovery.

By Saturday though I was absolutely stuffed and I needed to sleep after our morning session, before lunch, and then again after lunch. So it was decided that recovery was the order of the day for the afternoon. So I headed to the ice baths again! I wanted to be a well prepared as I could for the next day as we had two race pieces that we had to do and they were being timed!

Saturday night was the "last dinner" for the weight gaining competition as we were going to weight the guys before our row the next morning. And as you can see it got to the point where they just couldn't eat any more! I never thought I would see the day when these three guys couldn't eat any more!

Sunday morning dawned and I think that we were all a bit nervous about how we would go in the pieces and I think we were all a bit more focused than ever. However before we headed out we needed to weigh the three guys. Stu weighed in 2.5 kilos heavier, Pete weighed in 2.4 kilos heavier and Nick...well he lost 3 kilos!!! We couldn't believe it. How could he eat 4 plates of food at each meal and loose 3 kilos. Needless to say I can't imagine what his mom goes through trying to feed him enough! So Stu won the comp...or had he? We forgot that they had all agreed because he wasn't doing any exercise he had to take off 20% of his total weight gained, so that gave the win to Pete.

Now we had to focus on the race pieces. We headed out and did a good warm up with our Cox Shannon giving us the low down on our race plan. We had a good hit out on both of them with the second one a slightly bit slower than the first. But definitely a good base to work on from here.

We headed back to the AIS and our last meal for the week before we all headed back to our respective states. We have given it our all this week as the picture of Alex's hands will tell. Nick's were probably worse than her's and mine took a beating as well. But all in the name for a good cause!

We meet again in four weeks time at the National Selection trials. We will have a day and a half to train and then "row for our future". We are hoping that we will be fast enough to head over to the first World Cup in Bled, Slovenia on the last weekend of May and then over to New Zealand for the Rowing World Championships in November.

So stay tuned!

The Journey Begins Again

If anyone had asked me way back in 2006, when I first started to row, if I thought I would be aiming for my 3rd national team in as many years, I would have thought they were crazy. But funny enough this is where I find myself at this point in my life.

On the 5th of November my step-daughter called to say that she was pregnant and that I was going to be a grandmother! No way I said, Nanna, is what I will be. I am too young to be "Grandma"! So I guess that will be another milestone for me, "The first nanna on the Australian Rowing team!"

It hasn't been easy though. The last 6 months have been tough, trying to balance between keeping my body actually working. Not just rowing, but keeping the balance between some tough training and enough rest so that my body will actually do what I ask of it. So far so good!

We had our National Championships just over a week ago and I guess you could say I did pretty good! Alex Green, from Sydney, (who was in the team with me last year) and I teamed up in the double scull and won it pretty handily against two other crews. Then came the single, where I found myself going from teammate to rival, rowing against Alex and 3 other women. Unfortunately for me Alex came home with the gold and I picked up the silver medal. I guess I can't complain, I had the best singles race I have ever had, I couldn't have done anything more.

Because of these results Alex and I have been selected along with Peter Siri, from Townsville and the new kid on the block Nick Bisetto, who rows with me in Melbourne. We have a new cox as well this year Shannon Narracott from Canberra, who we haven't met yet. We have been invited to our first camp in a weeks time in Canberra. I am sure we are all excited, I know I am, to see how fast we can make this boat go! Also invited to the camp is my coach Stu McShane.

This past few months we have had 6 Adaptive rowers at our club, Mercantile. There are some exciting prospects coming up the ranks so it will be hard to keep a position in the boat in the near future, not only for the men, but for us women as well. The one nice thing is that there are a number of us now, I don't feel like the odd one out in the club.

Through this blog I will keep you up to date on our progress, any seat changes, any travels that we may be sent on (of which I am hoping there will be a couple!). I feel that we have unfinished business from the World Championships last year. We made the A final, ended up in 6th, but didn't have a good row at all, so we are all out to change that!

I hope that you enjoy the journey that I am about to take you on. Without the support from my friends and family this journey would be no fun! I want to share the ups and downs, the joy and pain, the happiness and sadness of what elite sport is all about. As my sister said to me two years ago "isn't about the destination, it is all about the journey". One that I hope you will enjoy with me.